No Name Survival
by Sasuke Uzumaki 83
Summary: Crazy kids, pregnant men, and zombie apocolipses, oh my! What more could go wrong? Wars between Japan and the rest of the world? Government expirements that lead to the undead? Idiotic kids try to survive? Welcome back to 528,710, we missed you. CRACK-FIC NARUSASU
1. Feelings

**NO NAME SURVIVAL**

**CHAPTER 1- FEELINGS**

**SUMMARY: **Crazy kids, pregnant men, and zombie apocolipses, oh my! What more could go wrong? Wars between Japan and the rest of the world? Government expirements that lead to the undead? Idiotic kids try to survive? Welcome back to 528,710, we missed you. NARUSASU

**WARNINGS: **Yaoi (BoyxBoy), Sexual Content, M-Preg, Zombies, Eating people, Atomic farts, military, world wars, cross-dressing, craziness, annoying-ness, horrible writing, feminine males, masculine females, trees, telekenisis, character death, strong language usage, Kyuubi, and it may cause death to young microwaves under the age of 37. **I APOLLOGIZE FOR ANY GRAMMAR/SPELLING ERRORS I DID NOT CATCH, DID NOT HAVE OPTIONS FOR iT TO CHECK FOR ME. **Thank you.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Naruto or anything related, I do not FULLY own No Name High, nor do I own the OC's Moon, Dusk, Ivan, Raccoon, Izak, Mia, Blackie, Beauty, Snowy, Shaun, Brutis, Random Dude (Or chick), Mrs. Buttless, Puppy, Yin, Yang, Nursie, or Samuel, these OC's belong to my younger sister. All events in here are extremely fictitious and are the result of a roleplay between my sister and I, for which not all the events I came up with.

**CLAIMER: **I do, however, own the OC's Max, Eddie, Narsie (Narsississia), Shia, Russian Guy, Misa, John, and Buggy.

**IN OUR ROLEPLAY **I was Sasuke, Naruto, some random people (Military commander and such.), and my OC's. I did not come up with all of the events, in fact I came up with some and my sister came up with alot. My sister was her OC's and some random people. Yay! :D

**A/n: **Bah, now that I got _that _out...

I hope you enjoy this as much as No Name High! :D If you haven't read it, **READ IT! **It has nothing to do with this one though you will know the characters better if you do. Oh, but you'll meet them in here anyways.

**THIS IS CLEARLY A CRACK FIC, JUST-FOR-THE-HECK-OF-IT ROLEPLAY SORT OF THING. I AM NOT DISCONTINUING OTHER FANFICTIONS IN PROGRESS, THIS ONE AS ALREADY BEEN PRACTICALLY WRITTEN I JUST NEED TO PUT IT UP! :D**

**Thank you for reading.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p>"I hate you."<p>

"Go die."

"Is that all you're going to say?"

"...go die...?"

Sasuke sighed. Sasuke had a flawless pale face, shallow, obsidian eyes and beautiful ebony hair that was so dark it seemed to shine blue. He was wearing the usual; a blue short-sleeved shirt with a loose turtle-neck collar. He wore white shorts that almost went down to his knees and those awesomely amazing ninja shoes. Along with he wore his white wrist bands with the buckles on them and the bandages on his shins. Sasuke was currently 16.

He was the closest thing to a girl in the school.

Naruto, on the other hand, was 20 (Of course he's to old to be in high school but it's not much of a school and wait for Max.). He had bright yellow (Not blonde. YELLOW.) hair and deep cerulean eyes, showing hi every emotion, perfectly tanned-to-perfection skin, three whiskers on each cheek and a bright smile. He was wearing a neon orange jumpsuit along with some blue here and there, a fuzzy white collar on his jacket, a red spiral on the back and the same ninja shoes as Sasuke.

...except a different pair...

...because if they were wearing the same pair all would go to hell.

Naruto and Sasuke hated each other with a burning passion...

...fruit.

"All you guys do is fight, fight, fight. Would you shut up for once?"

Ivan had a slightly high voice. It was the voice of a boy that had yet to go through puberty.

He had yet to go through puberty.

He had fair blonde hair, large, (He was anything but.) green eyes, and pale skin. He was wearing a zipped-up green jacket, blue jeans, a purple scarf (Even with the temperature up and rising.), and some shoes. Who cares about his shoes? And no one ever saw his shirt. Ever. He was 15, younger than his classmates. Ivan was very smart and was accepted into the school because... he was supernatural.

Now, let me tell you a little about the school.

No Name high was a special school. Special as in... really special. In order to be admitted into the school one (or more) of the three following things had to apply to you:

1: You are incredibly stupid.

2: You are super natural (In a sense)

and 3: You have brain damage.

At No Name High they didn't learn anything, advane grades, do homework, or even get work for that matter. The golden rule of lunch was eat or be eaten, and rape was as common as breathing in the school. No Name High students took pride in going there and hated those of their rival school.

Every Name High.

Every Name High was full of the regular kids. They hated them with a passion...

...fruit.

"Hey... hey Sasuke?" Max asked, poking Sasuke in the arm.

Max was a red head (As in Crayola red), hair spiked every which way, he had blue eyes the same shade as Naruto's though not quite as pretty (We have yet to find out why.). He had a scar across his face, starting from the top left of his face through his left eye, zig-zagging over the bridge of his nose and diagonally down his right cheek (Some say Sasuke gave it to him. No one knows for sure.). He wore a short-sleeved red shirt, blue jeans, and a brown belt that was in the right side belt loops and not the left.

The belt is of the utmost importance.

Max was admitted into the school because he was incredibly stupid. Not for brain damage, though, for he had no brain of which to damage. Max was the oldest in his class. He was 26, exceding the age of their 24-year-old teacher Kakashi. Raping was his hobby.

Sasuke gave Max a harsh, cold glare.

"What?" He barked out in response.

"Wanna have sex?"

Sasuke glared at Max, even colder than before. Max kept his same face on, until he sweat dropped and slowly inched away.

"That's fine. Maybe some other time..." He said, still slinking away. Ivan sighed.

"Hey, Raccoon, I wonder what's in Naruto's diary?" Ivan asked.

Raccoon was a... well, a raccoon. It was a rather large raccoon and always listened to Ivan, though Ivan did not own the damned thing. Some beg to differ. Raccoon could usually be found sitting on Ivan's shoulder or in someone's hair. Wither that or where the sex was happening.

Raccoon's two hobbies were castrating men and recording/uploading porn. It castrated itself long ago, and with that it somehow managed to lose his gender (No one knows why.). Raccoon had the amazing ability to go into someone's hair and come out in someone else's hair...

...any hair on their body.

Raccoon let out a sound and wrote on its chalkboard (Ivan taught it how to write and understand Japanese): I'll go get it.

"I don't have a diary." Naruto said.

"I bet you do." Ivan replied.

"No I don't." Naruto denied it, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing out a breath.

"He probably does." Sasuke said, "Let's see what's inside."

Raccoon snickered, pulling out Naruto's diary from somewhere deep within its hair (Another amazing ability of its.).

"Aha. Well, let's have a look-see." Ivan said, opening the diary in his hands and flipped through.

"No, Ivan, please." Naruto pleaded, shaking his head.

"And why should I not?" Ivan asked.

"Because..." Naruto began. He looked to Sasuke, than replied back, looking back to Ivan, "Just please kick Sasuke out."

"What? Why me?" Sasuke asked. He kicked Naruto upside the head.

"Yeah, Naruto, why him?" Ivan asked.

"Well... I..." Naruto began.

"Now I'm really curious. Ivan, read it." Sasuke commanded. Ivan glared at him, he hated being tald what to do.

"Okay." Ivan replied harshly. He flipped back to the first page and read:

"Dear Diary-"

"STOP!" Naruto begged, "PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING!"

"Even wear a pink leotard and tutu to schoo tommorrow?" Sasuke asked. Naruto gave him a blank look.

"No, Sasuke. Come on, that would blind us all." Ivan said.

"Ah, screw it. Just read it..." Naruto said, a blush on his face. Sasuke looked down at him.

_Why was he blushing...?_

"Becuase, Sasuke, this is some _pretty_ interesting stuff." Ivan replied to Sasuke's thoughts. Ivan could read minds.

"As in what, and what does it have to do with me?" Sasuke asked. He was kind of regretting this now.

"Well, he has a to-do list."

"Read anything but." Naruto commanded.

"No." Ivan replied, a tree falling on the yellow-haired boy. Ivan also had telekenisis.

"Number one: Hug Sasuke. Number two: Kiss Sasuke. Number three: Have-"

"I've heard enough." Sasuke cut Ivan's reading off, feeling kind of sick to the stomach and a little weak to the knees.

"Already? You haven't heard even half of it..."

"My god, Naruto, seriously? It disturbs me that you'd want to do those things to me..." Sauske said, shuddering.

Naruto tried to speak but couldn't, a side effect from being stuffed under an orange tree.

"Hm, what's in Sasuke's diary?" Ivan asked Raccoon. Sasuke's eyes grew wide.

"Don't."

"Hm..." Ivan hummed, flipping through Sasuke's diary. "Dear Diary, I just want someone to be with me."

"Stop, please!" Sasuke begged.

"I want someone who won't leave my side and who will be with me. Always. I want someone to love and I want someone to love me. Is that too much to ask for? Wow, Sasuke, you may have the body of a girl but you sure do have the thoughts." Ivan said.

"I don't have the body of a girl I just happen to have feminine body curves." Sasuke replied quickly.

"And the legs of one." Max pointed out.

"Shut up, Max, no one asked you." Ivan said to Max.

"Aw..." Max said, hanging his head and slumping his shoulders as he walked away in defeat. Izak pat his shoulder.

"It's alright." He said, "He hates all of us. But mostly you."

Izak Hawkaloogie had brown hair spiked every which way but flattened on the top. Some say he was dropped on his head as a baby. He was eight feet tall, had brown eyes, and tan skin. He wore a long-sleeved pink shirt and blue jeans. He raped for a hobby.

"Yeah, he just hates you the most." Mia agreed.

Mia Hawkaloogie was Izak's sibling. She had long light blue hair (Same hair style as Shippuden Hinata.), had on a light blue gothic lolita dress, light blue tights and light blue shoes. She also had light blue eyes. No one knew her sibling's or her own age. Mia was more of a man than a woman. Mia also raped for a hobby. (Pineapples, if you're wondering.)

"...I'm going out for some fresh air." Sasuke said and stalked out the room rather quickly.

Ivan lifted the tree off of Nartuo (When Ivan lifts things it's telekenisis.). Naruto stood up and stretched his back. He glared at Ivan and spoke.

"You shouldn't have done that." Naruto practically growled at the blonde.

"Well excuse me, I just read out diaries, that's all." Ivan replied, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Naruto he continued; "If you guys are too sensitive for it, that's pathetic."

Raccoon emitted a sort of screech and disappeared into Ivan's hair.

"I'm not too sensitive for it. Sasuke is, you know he is. No matter how much he denies it he's the closest any of us are probably going to get to a girl."

Ivan sighed and glared again. "I could care less."

"Fine then, I'm going to go get him and see to it that he doesn't do anything deadly." Naruto said. He walked out of the room speaking a 'ta-ta!'

Ivan sighed. "Bunch of idiots..."

Sasuke entered the room, eyes red. "How long was I gone?" He asked.

"About a minute."

"Oh. That's longer than I wanted it to be." He said, glancing at the clock. He looked around the room. "Oh good. That idiot isn't here."

"You mean Ramen Head, or the Three Stooges?" Ivan asked, jabbing a finger in the three idiots' (Max, Mia, and Izak) direction.

"I meant Naruto." Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes and slumping down in a random seat.

"What, upset that I read that out loud?" Ivan mocked him.

"No. Just upset... fine, yes." Sasuke admitted. "Where the hell is Naruto, anyways?"

"Oh, somewhere looking for you. No big deal." Ivan said, waving his hand in the air in dismissal.

"Good, he'll be gone a while then. I'm going to go to my emo corner." Sasuke stated, getting up and sitting in his emo corner. Ivan watched the door until Naruto entered.

"I couldn't find hi- oh." Naruto said when his eyes fell on Sasuke. "...I guess he's fine, then."

"Yeah, I could care less about you low lives." Ivan said.

"...well, I heard we were going on a field trip soon." Naruto changed the subject.

"Oh joy. Is it the hotel again?" Ivan asked.

"No, no. It's actually supposed to be some sort of museum thing." Naruto said. "Like an... art museum or something."

"Oh. How lame." Ivan replied.

"When?" Sasuke asked, suddenly appearing next to Naruto. Naruto gave out a shout and jumped away from him.

"When did you get there?" Naruto asked, his arms still in his face in defense.

"Like, two seconds ago." Sasuke replied.

"...Oh." Naruto said, visibly relaxing.

"So, when are we going?" Sasuke reworded his previous question.

"Tomorrow." Naruto said.

* * *

><p>-TOMORROW-<p>

"Uh... Sasuke... Sasuke..." Naruto whispered to the younger male. They were on the school bus on the way to the museum. The raven haired boy had fallen asleep as was currently using Naruto's shoulder as a pillow. Naruto knew that if he let Sauske sleep there Sasuke would accuse Naruto of placing his head there and then avoid him. So he, reluctantly, attempted once again to rouse the boy out of his peaceful slumber.

"Mm, wha?" Sasuke asked groggilly, sitting up straight and rubbing his eyes.

Naruto sighed.

Sasuke looked at Naruto, one hand lowered some so he could do so and asked: "What?"

"Oh... uh... nothing..." Naruto said, looking out of the window. "Oh, look, we're here!" Naruto exclaimed, changing the subject.

"Let me see." Sasuke said, leaning over Naruto so he could catch a glimpse outside the window. Sasuke's hand fell between Naruto's legs, **very** close to Naruto's crotch and Naruto blushed as he realized this. The bus hopped over a bump in the road and Sasuke's arms failed him, his face falling into Naruto's lap.

Naruto quickly lifte the boy into a sitting position in the seat next to him, the older male's face still red. Sasuke's face flushed slightly from embarassment. "I-uh-I... ah-ha... uhm... Sorry." Naruto choked out.

"N-no... I should be... uh... sorry." Sasuke said quickly.

The bus pulled to a stop in the parking lot of the museum, the students all piling out the door one by one. Sasuke made sure to keep distance from Naruto, which deflated the older male. Naruto sighed.

"Come on, why do I have to ruin everything? Now Sasuke will be avoiding me FOREVER!" Naruto whined.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, Naruto. I really don't care about your love life and such." Ivan said. He glared at Naruto and Naruto shut up. "And besides, who would care about yo-" Ivan gestured with his arm...

_**...CRACK!**_

Ivan looked behind him where a very expensive piece of artwork lay on the ground. Or, more of, what was formerly a very expensive piece of artwork.

"...did you just break that?" Naruto asked, pointing at the smashed art work.

"No, you did." Ivan said.

"What? That makes no sense, I'm standing right here!" Naruto exclaimed.

A guard came up to the two students. He was very, very, _very, __**very, **__**very**_buff. Naruto gulped.

"Who broke that?" The guard asked in a deep voice, pointing at the smashed up ceramics.

"Ivan di-"

"Naruto did." Ivan cut Naruto's earlier statement off. Ivan pointed at the Ramen head, the guard looking at him also.

"You broke that?" The guard asked, an evil aura coming around him.

"N-no... Iva-"

"Did I?" Ivan asked, cutting Naruto off again but adding a cold glare and an evil aura.

"Uh..." Naruto began, "I've gotta... pee..." Naruto ran off, the guard chasing him close behind. They ran around, the men breaking art works as they ran. Ivan watched them, as the guard tripped over his own legs. The guard may have been very buff in his arms and torso, but his legs were puny and stubby.

Sasuke sighed. "Wow, he's still an idiot, even in this kind of atmosphere."

"Yeah, agreed." Ivan replied with a nod of the head.

Sasuke began to walk off, until he grabbed his chest and began to try to breathe regularly again. Ivan looked over at him and sighed.

"I'm not going to call an ambulance or anything." Ivan called out.

Sasuke collapsed to the ground. Naruto stopped running away from the guard (Who had yet to right himself) and ran to Sasuke.

"Sasuke? Sasuke? Are you alright?" Naruto exclaimed the question, dropping to his knees next to the younger man. Sasuke tried to breathe again but couldn't seem to. He closeed his eyes, falling unconcious. Naruto began to freak out.

"Ivan! Ivan! What should we do?" Naruto called out, looking at Ivan with pleading eyes.

"Nothing. Let him die there." Ivan said.

"I could... wasn't that called rescue breathing or something?" Naruto asked, looking down at Sasuke.

"I could do it." Max said, flying over to the two with chibi angel wings.

"SHUT UP MAX!" Naruto yelled at him, pushing his face away and successfully making him crash into the Mona Lisa. A guard started chasing the red head.

Naruto looked at Sasuke with a blush on his face. "I... uh... I know how..." Naruto said sheepishly.

"Whatever. Just let me walk away." Ivan said monotonously, walking away from all of the commotion. He walked over to a phone and dialed 9-1-1, dispite is previous claims he made to Sasuke.

"Hello, this is 9-1-1, emergency hotline, what's your emergency?" A girl asked.

"Yeah. Someone just collapsed in the middle of the hallway. He stopped breathing." Ivan stated, looking over in the direction of him, though he couldn't see him.

"Is his heart still beating?"

"As far as I know, yes."

"What's your name, and how old are you?"

"Ivan and I'm 15."

"Okay. Where are you?"

"You are right down the fucking hall." Ivan said rudely.

"Am not." The girl denied.

"You are right behin dthat pillar, go get a fucking ambulance." Ivan said. The girl peaked over at Ivan from behind the pillar she was using as a hiding place.

"Oops." She said in a small voice. "I'll be right on it." Ivan sighed, he hated retarded people.

"GET OFF ME!" Ivan heard Sasuke scream.

"Oh, he's up." Ivan said, walking over to where Sasuke was lying on the ground.

"I was just trying to help!" Naruto said.

"Yeah right, I woke up to you pratically making out with me!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Rescue breathing, Sasuke. Rescue breathing." Naruto said. He looked at Ivan and asked: "Right, Ivan?"

"Oh, don't pull me into this." Ivan said. He hated being around these people but they provided sufficient entertainment.

"You are a-a... a..." Sasuke collapsed once again.

"Agh! Could he stop doing that?" Naruto asked.

"Go on, boy wonder, do whatever. I already called the ambulance." Ivan said, walking over to the front doors of the museum as he heard the sirens of an ambulance whining. "Oh, good, they're here."

The doctors came in and brought Sasuke out on a stretcher. Naruto walked until he stood beside Ivan and sighed as they closed the ambulance doors and they drove off. "I hope he's alright."

"I'm surprized he could even wake up, considering the fact that you were making out with him." Ivan said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Rescue breathing, Ivan. Rescue breathing." Naruto said. Naruto found himself under another orange tree.

"Orange tree, Naruto. Orange tree."

* * *

><p>"God, I hope he's alright." Naruto said.<p>

"Oh, shut up. Who cares." Ivan said.

"I do." Naruto said, looking over at Ivan.

"Who cares." Ivan repeated.

"I said I do."

"Who that matters cares." Ivan said.

Naruto shut his mouth.

"Attention students, this is your principle, Mrs. Buttless speaking. We require that at leasst two-thirds of the school sign up to join the army. We are in a war and the army needs more soldiers around your age groups. Now at least two-thirds of the school must sign up AND YOU BETTER." Mrs. Buttless said over the inter-com. She was, well, butt-less. She had no butt.

"Who's the war between?" Naruto asked Ivan.

"Why are you asking me?" Ivan asked.

"Because you're the only one that's smart around here right now." Naruto said. Ivan thought for a moment before he replied.

"You're right." Ivan said, then added, "For once. The war is between Japan and the rest of the world."

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"Well, because Japan wants to become their own continent but nobody wants them to be." Ivan said casually.

"Oh. Well that's stupid." Naruto said, leaning back in the chair he was sitting in. "So it's like a... World War 13?"

"This is World War 13, yes." Ivan replied.

"Cool." Naruto said. He thought for a bit. "I think I'll join..."

"Why? So you can redeem yourself and have your way with Sasuke?" Ivan asked.

"Yup, exactly." Naruto replied, getting up out of his seat. "Now I"m going to go sign up and then visit Sasuke to tell him good-bye."

"We won't miss you." Ivan said.

"I won't miss you either." Naruto replied.

"We hate you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"Glad you'll be gone."

"Same here."

"You're going to die."

"Your confidence in me is overwhelming." Naruto replied sarcastically. He turned to Ivan and said, "Meet me at the hospital?"

"No." Ivan replied.

"Suit yourself." Naruto said with a shrug and left. Ivan sighed.

"Things are about to get boring."

* * *

><p>"Uhm... Sasuke... I..." Naruto began nervously.<p>

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm leaving." Naruto said.

"Where?"

"I'm going to war." Sasuke dead panned. Everytime Sasuke thought that Naruto was as stupid as they could come, he proved the younger male wrong.

"You're what?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm... going to war." Naruto repeated.

"No."

"Uh... what?" Naruto didn't know if he could trust his ears at that moment. Did Sasuke want him to stay?

"I said no." Sasuke repeated.

"And why not?" Naruto asked.

"It's suicide, Naruto. You can't go."

"Wow, you have so much confidence that I'm going to live. Well, I'm going, Sasuke, and you can't stop me."

"You can't!" Sasuke cried out. "You can't go! You can't die! You can't... you can't..." Sasuke was thinking of other excuses.

"I'm going to protect this country and all that I care about in it. Sasuke, I'm going to fight with my all so you don't have to worry about dying in this bed." Naruto said.

"But I... you can't..."

"You can't stop me-"

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Sasuke screamed at him. He started breaking down and sobbed out: "I need you."

Naruto looked stunned. He was shocked, to say the least. Naruto sighed and embraced the younger boy.

"You guys are disgusting and pitiful." Ivan said, fading in from nowhere.

"How long have you been here?" Naruto asked.

"Whole time. This is all just a stupid cliche and all that cheese pizza."

"You mean cheesy stuff?" Naruto asked.

"What ever, I don't care." Ivan said, crossing his arms. "Not my fault you guys forgot I could turn invisible."

"Well, I asked you to come so it wasn't much of a surprize." Naruto said. Ivan looked at him with a blank face.

"I hate you."

"I know you do." Naruto replied.

"Make him stay." Sasuke said.

"Excuse me?" Ivan asked.

"I said... make him s-stay..."

"And why should I? I want him gone just as much as the next guy."

"Because he ca-can't go..." Sasuke said. Naruto sighed.

"I'm leaving." He said.

"NO!" Sasuke screamed at him. Naruto stood up and left the room, leaving a sobbing Sasuke and an indifferent Ivan behind. Ivan glanced at Sasuke and scoffed.

"You're weak." He got no reply, not even a glare. "You're stupid."

...

"You are a girl." Ivan stated, but the older boy still said nothing.

"I'm... I'm going to follow him." Sasuke said.

"To war?" Ivan asked.

"No, out of the building." Sasuke said, getting up.

"Well, he's already gone." Ivan said.

"WHAT?"

"Well, they picked him up here. He's gone." Ivan repeated.

"No... no... this can't be happening..." Sasuke sobbed.

"Well, it is. Now shut up." Ivan commanded him. Sasuke continued to sob. Ivan sighed.

"That's it, I'm going to war." Ivan turned his head to look at the three idiots.

"And you're coming with me."

* * *

><p><strong>An: **Cracktastic and to the point, just how I like it.

So this is actually a role play of mine and my younger sister's. We actually speak it out, not typing it, so I have to type it up before I forget it. It's been going on for a while, this one. So this whole thing was fast and it was basically all improv.

And it was all improv.

Hope you like it and keep reading!

_**REVIEWS?**_

_~Sasuke Uzumaki 83_


	2. Months of RP

**NO NAME SURVIVAL**

**CHAPTER 2- MONTHS OF RP**

**SUMMARY: **Crazy kids, pregnant men, and zombie apocolipses, oh my! What more could go wrong? Wars between Japan and the rest of the world? Government expirements that lead to the undead? Idiotic kids try to survive? Welcome back to 528,710, we missed you. NARUSASU

**WARNINGS: **Yaoi (BoyxBoy), Sexual Content, M-Preg, Zombies, Eating people, Atomic farts, military, world wars, cross-dressing, craziness, annoying-ness, horrible writing, feminine males, masculine females, trees, telekenisis, character death, strong language usage, Kyuubi, and it may cause death to young microwaves under the age of 37. **I APOLLOGIZE FOR ANY GRAMMAR/SPELLING ERRORS I DID NOT CATCH, DID NOT HAVE OPTIONS FOR iT TO CHECK FOR ME. **Thank you.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Naruto or anything related, I do not FULLY own No Name High, nor do I own the OC's Moon, Dusk, Ivan, Raccoon, Izak, Mia, Blackie, Beauty, Snowy, Shaun, Brutis, Random Dude (Or chick), Mrs. Buttless, Puppy, Yin, Yang, Nursie, or Samuel, these OC's belong to my younger sister. All events in here are extremely fictitious and are the result of a roleplay between my sister and I, for which not all the events I came up with.

**CLAIMER: **I do, however, own the OC's Max, Eddie, Narsie (Narsississia), Shia, Russian Guy, Misa, John, and Buggy, Hunter, Wallace, and Berry.

**IN OUR ROLEPLAY **I was Sasuke, Naruto, some random people (Military commander and such.), and my OC's. I did not come up with all of the events, in fact I came up with some and my sister came up with alot. My sister was her OC's and some random people. Yay! :D

**A/n:** Yeah, so, this one's going to be long. Have to catch it up with the roleplay or I'm going to forget it all... o.0

Here goes!

I love how you can see my thought process in here, and not my sister's. Not my fault, I can't get into her head, and I'm a theatrical person, I get into this kind of stuff.

**THIS IS CLEARLY A CRACK FIC, JUST-FOR-THE-HECK-OF-IT ROLEPLAY SORT OF THING. I AM NOT DISCONTINUING OTHER FANFICTIONS IN PROGRESS, THIS ONE AS ALREADY BEEN PRACTICALLY WRITTEN I JUST NEED TO PUT IT UP! :D**

**Thank you for reading.**

**ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I did that..." Naruto said, stepping out of the military jeep-thing onto the chapped dry ground. "I seriously cannot believe I just did that."<p>

Naruto took a sweeping look around. It was just what he thought it would be like; military-like tents, the somewhat-domed roofs on them. There were military personel walking around. Naruto sighed. How was he supposed to _actually _do this? He thought back to Sasuke, begging him not to go...

...Naruto sighed again. He should have listened.

A marine -or whatever he was- ran up to him. He stopped in front of the blond, breathing not that unsteady. He must run alot, Naruto noted. The man looked at Naruto; he couldn't have been that much older than Naruto, who was 20 himself. The man had military cut hair, a fatigue (A military unifrom.) on, dog-tags hanging from his neck. Naruto wondered for a second if he had to cut his hair, but quickly dismissed the thought. He looked up at Naruto, and the blond noticed the scars on his face. He had obviously seen action before.

"Hey." The man said.

"Hey." Naruto replied.

"So... you a new recruit?" He asked, scratching the back of his head with his right hand, a nervous kind of gesture.

"...yeah." Naruto replied, looking off to his left. Naruto looked back at the man. "I'm Naruto." Naruto said, holding out his hand in a mature gesture. The man looked at his hand.

"Uh... yeah." He said, grasping Naruto's hand and shaking it, he replied, "Buggy (Piggy-backed off of Truck from MW3)."

"Buggy...?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah. My name." He said, shrugging, as if it meant nothing.

"Oh." Naruto replied. He sighed, looking down, then up at the sky. The sky was a bright blue, fluffy clouds, sun shining; just the opposite of Naruto's thoughts. He thought of Sasuke, crying, begging, _screaming..._

"Yo, you a'right, dude?" Buggy asked.

"Yeah..." Naruto trailed off.

"It sucks, leaving your loved ones, right?" Buggy asked.

"How..." Naruto stopped himself from asking. Of course he knew, dumbass. He had faced that himself, obviously; he _was_ here, too.

"I know." Buggy said, placing a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder. "It sucks. You'll get over it, though. And when you come back to them; there's nothing happier."

Naruto smiled, thinking of Sasuke smiling brightly.

_"Naruto!" _Sasuke would call out, practically jumping on Naruto in a hug, crying tears of happiness. _"I missed you so much..."_

"Wow, you're lame, Naruto." Naruto whipped his head around to the source of the voice and groaned. He wasn't afraid of displaying his distaste.

"Ivan, what are you doing here?" He groaned out.

"I was bored." Ivan replied, crossing his arms over his chest. He was still in his regular clothes, unlike Naruto, who had already recieved his fatigue. "Oh, and, I brought... things." Ivan added, jabbing a thumb to indicate the presence of the three stooges behind him. They had obviously recieved their fatigues and were sporting them proudly.

"...right." Naruto replied.

"What's lame about him?" Buggy asked.

"Nothing. Just what he was thinking." Ivan replied. He glared at Buggy; oh, great. Another idiot.

"...not gonna ask. Soo... who're you?" Buggy asked Ivan.

"You don't need to kn-"

"Ivan." Naruto cut him off. Ivan glared at him.

"I hate you." Ivan said.

"Yeah, well, honestly, I thought you said you weren't going to miss me? And now you're here? What's up with that, Ivan? Kind of contradictory, if you ask me." Naruto replied.

"Yeah, right. Sasuke misses you. I just don't want to put up with his whining." Ivan replied.

"How... is he?" Naruto asked.

"Still whining. I only stayed a few minutes after you left, as if I know much more than you." Ivan said, shrugging, his arms still crossed over his chest.

"...right." Naruto replied.

A man walked up. He had black hair, black cat ears, a black cat tail, a fatigue on. Naruto cocked his head to the side; the people in the military were awfully... unusual. The man nodded his head slightly in a greeting.

"Dusk. No formal introductions."

Naruto stared at him funny, but shrugged. What could you do when you were in the military? And just a recruit, none-the-less. Naruto looked at Buggy and Dusk, the idiots, and Ivan, all in the same frame. Yeah, if there were a picture of what Naruto was seeing right then, he knew what the caption would be;

'The Weird-oes from the Military.'

Yeah, that fit them alright, Naruto thought, nodding his head in agreement with himself. Ivan glared at him.

"I am not a weird-o." Ivan bit at him.

"What?" Naruto asked, holding his hands up in defense. Ivan kept on glaring at him.

Another man walked up to them. He sported patches on his fatigue. Naruto sucked in a breath; higher ranked personel. The man also had military cut hair, scars on his face, and he carried around with him the feeling of importance.

"Look, Buggy-" The man started.

"Oh, Gosh! Guys! Look, it's rarely he talks to recruits! Or me! It's JOHN! He's... like... the best guy in the military EVER! He's so amazing! I can't-"

"Buggy, shut the fuck up." The man, John, cut Buggy off.

"I apollogize." Buggy replied, looking down to the ground, a sign of respect.

"So... John? Like... John 117? Master cheif?" Ivan asked.

"Like what?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah." John replied. "Master Cheif."

"Those games are old." Ivan said.

"What games?" Naruto asked.

"Never heard of Halo?" John asked.

"No. Never." Naruto replied.

"So, what did you want?" Ivan asked.

"Okay, now, usually, we don't ask recruits to do missions. But right now, we do. You're almost all we have free at the moment, and we're definately _not_ putting this base in the hands of recruits, or we'll lose the unit. It's one of the strongest one this military has, and it's our finest hope. So, you boys, hop in the Jeep over there," John indicated it with a movement of head, "and you're coming with me. I'll explain the mission on the way; Berry's orders."

"Even me?" Buggy asked, eyes lighting up like those of a boy in a candy store.

"...yes." Naruto could practically taste John's dislike of the thought of hauling Buggy around. It was understandable, though; the man was pretty annoying.

* * *

><p>John explained the mission to them. It was easy, he had said; just go in, shoot anything in your way, protect the possibly wounded men, and get them out of there. Simple, he had said again. Naruto wasn't so sure, and he found himself doubting he would ever make it back to Sasuke in one piece. What was easy to this decorated veteran could be like a suicidal one to the recruits.<p>

They got to the base, and, as John had said, it was pretty simple; they were just Americans, nothing the Japanese army couldn't handle at the time. It wasn't like they were, Russians, or worse...

...Germans.

They got the men and went back to base. Naruto outwardly sighed, letting out a breath he was sure that he wouldn't have been able to hold for the whole mission, or the car ride; he was just holding it. Truth was, his nerves were frayed and on edge. He wanted to see Sasuke again.

Ivan crossed his arms over his chest. "This whole military thing isn't so hard."

Ivan had been shot at many times, but, thanks to his HANDY DANDY forcefield, they were all reflected, leaving an unscathed Ivan in it's place.

"Yeah, when you have a force field." Naruto replied, lolling his head around to look at Ivan. Ivan shrugged.

"Sure, whatever. Just jealous that you don't have one." Ivan replied. Naruto sighed.

Why had he come again?

A fast-moving black blur made its way into the scene, weaving in between people, rushing, running, jumping, pouncing Dusk...

"DUSK! I missed you!" The thing exclaimed. Naruto looked at 'it'.

To his surprise, it was another boy, but a feminine one, making him think back to Sasuke, his throat chocking up. The boy had black hair, green eyes, black cat ears and tail, and a fatigue. He was in the military? He couldn't have been as old as Ivan...

"You two lovers?" John asked.

"What? NO!" The boy exclaimed, laughing after making a funny face at John. "We're brothers."

"Oh." John said, "Right."

"Who're you?" Naruto asked.

"Moon, get off me." Dusk, the unfortunate recipent of the deadly glomp, groaned out.

"Moon." Moon answered Naruto's question.

"...right..."

Something broke everyone's line of thought. Something, rippling through the bright day; through the people's hearts, the people's acheivments, and the people's failures;

A gun shot...

...and then a scream

"What was that?" Naruto exclaimed, jumping at the sound.

"Sounded like a boy screaming." Ivan replied.

"No, it sounded like a woman." Naruto replied.

"Yeah, a woman." John agreed, a slight nod of the head.

"Yeah, w'man." Buggy also agreed. They all glared at him. "'s a'right. I'll shuddup, I'll shu'up." He muttered under his breath.

"Oh, well, I must have been hanging out with Sasuke too much. With him, you can never tell." Naruto whipped his head to look at Ivan.

"What?" Naruto could feel it; that sinking feeling, his heart making a slow, drippy, slimey, horrible descent into his stomach, the acid there eating at the poor defensless organ that worked so hard to keep him alive. Naruto turned his head to look at where the scream came from and made a run for it.

"Hey! Wait up, man!" John called out after him.

"Yeah! Wai' up!" Buggy called.

Naruto ran to where he had heard it and let out a choked sob. He was sure he was dying now; he couldn't take it. His heart, eaten up by the stomach acid, had now avenged itself by stopping almost completely. How... how...

"How did you... get here?" Naruto asked, eyes wide in fear. He didn't want to see what he was seeing; didn't want to know what he was knowing. What happened to that vision he had thought up, only hours ago?

The boy he had left only hours ago?

"I-I... Naru-Naruto..." Sasuke sobbed out.

"Sa-Sasuke..." Naruto breathed out. His voice was wavering; he was surprised that he could even talk at this point. The tears just poured out, he couldn't stop them. Naruto ran up the rest of the way to Sasuke, slowly picking the boy up, holding him in his arms. Sasuke's eyes met Naruto's. Naruto sobbed out, a gargled cry of anguish.

Naruto examined Sasuke, and as soon as his eyes broke the contact with Sasuke's, he regretted it. He almost screamed, but instead let out another anguished cry. Sasuke had a bullet wound. Naruto didn't know where; he could only see the blood. Everywhere, red everywhere, his Sasuke's blood, his Sasuke's life, his Sasuke's essence, pouring out of wherever that wound was. Naruto kept blaming himself, over and over and over again, slowly rocking back and forth. Naruto was sobbing; Sasuke had stopped.

"Holy- MEDIC!" John screamed out. John looked over at Buggy. "Go get a medic."

"Right away, sir!" Buggy said, saluting John and running off in search of a medic. Ivan walked up and tsked at the scene.

"Pitiful. Love's meaningless."

"H-How could you say that?" Naruto barked the question out at Ivan.

"It only hurts you. We're all just meaningless specks of dirt in a large galaxy; if one leaves, it doesn't really make much of a difference."

"Shut the fuck up." John said. Ivan glared hard at the older male. "Love is powerful. I would know. Got a wife and two of my own at home. I would know love."

"Whatever." Ivan said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Still meaningless."

"H-how did you get here... Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"I wanted-d... to..." Sasuke took a deep breath, "See... you, I... I..."

"It's okay, Sasuke. Don't strain yourself. It's alright, I'm here, you'll be fine." Naruto whispered, though he didn't know how much truth was in there; surely the world wasn't mean enough to rip Sasuke away from his now, let him die and lie limp and lifeless in his arms, right? Naruto was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to take that.

"I got the medic." Buggy said. John dead-panned.

"That's a grease monkey." Buggy looked at the 'medic' and, sure enough, it was a mechanic.

"Oh. That's all we got. We got 'em grease monk's." Buggy said.

A tank came up, filled with mechanics. "We're here." They all said in unison.

John sighed. "How are we going to get medics if all we got are some grease monkies and the other bases got 'em?"

"...well, I know how we could get some medics." Ivan said.

* * *

><p>Ivan had threatened the men in charge of near by bases, trading the 'grease monkies' for medics. Soon enough, the base was flooded with both. John brought a medic to Sasuke, who told Naruto to back off. Nicely, though.<p>

They left the scene, Naruto dragging his feet. In fact, John was dragging Naruto; Naruto was at an extreme emotional low. Ivan sighed.

"You're all weak." Ivan said.

* * *

><p>"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, standing up, arms outstretched to graso Sasuke into a hug. Sasuke let him hug him, and Naruto felt like he was soaring.<p>

It was three days after Naruto had entered the army, three days after Ivan had come to ruin it, and three days after they had completed his first mission.

Three days after Sasuke had gotten shot.

They had been told that it was some Russians that had shot Sasuke. Russians... they were a bad sign.

Probably scouts, John had said, making sure we're enough off guard to infiltrate the base.

Naruto was worried, which was an understatement. But right now, his worries, his saddness, everything was washed away, replaced with happiness, relief, love. He was so happy, his arms around Sasuke's feminine body, nose buried in his soft hair. Naruto closed his eyes; it was too good to be real.

"Mmmm..." Sasuke hummed into the juncture of Naruto's neck and shoulder. Naruto smiled at this, even wider than before. Sasuke was just so perfect.

"So, whas 'is name?" Buggy asked.

"Yeah, what's your name?" John asked. Sasuke slightly pushed out of Naruto's grip. He still had his arms around the younger male, just Sasuke wasn't pushed up against him, hands on the blond's chest.

"I'm Sasuke." Sasuke said. "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Oh. Cool." John replied. Sasuke looked at Naruto and smiled.

"You're pretty." Moon said. Sasuke smiled at him.

"Thank you." Sasuke replied.

"So... hang out with us sweaty guys for a while?" Naruto joked with Sasuke, smiling widely.

"I thought cooties were contagious. Maybe I shouldn't..." Sasuke trailed off. He looked at Naruto's face and smiled. "Just kidding. What else would I do?" Sasuke asked.. Naruto shrugged in response.

They were currently in a bomb shelter at the base; a underground, concrete building, plain as day in there. There were stairs in the building, a door that could be bolted tightly shut, able to withstand everything.

"We'll keep you in here for now, Sasuke. It's the safest place." John replied.

"Okay." Sasuke replied. Sasuke sat down, and the men talked for hours.

"My brother reads porn." Moon said, out of thin air.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"It's true." Moon replied, holding up a porn magazine, the title reading; RED.

Sasuke picked it up and looked through it. It was between two girls. Sasuke felt like he was going ot be sick. "How do men find this stuff sexy? It's... disguisting."

"No, it's not." Dusk replied back.

The conversation went on for a while, taking random twists and turns, until they were interrupted.

"Okay. Heads up, John," Someone at the door said, their voice ringing in the cement room. All eyes were on the woman. "New mission for you 'n your recruits."

"Oh, so they're mine now?" John asked. The woman disregarded the comment.

"Clear a village, details on ride."

So off they went, completing the mission. Naruto tried to concentrate, but he just couldn't; how was Sasuke doing, all alone in that bomb shelter? Would someone hurt him? Shoot him? Rape him? Naruto had a weird and paranoid mind when it came to Sasuke. What was going to happen? When they finished the mission, they headed back, Naruto finally convincing himself that Sauske would be alright when they returned.

Only, when they returned, Sasuke was nowhere to be seen.

"Sasuke? Sasuke? Sasuke?" Naruto kept asking out, looking through the bomb shelter. It was only a plain, square room. It was large, but it was empty. Naruto turned to the others in alarm.

"Where is he?" Naruto asked, panic not absent in his desperate question. He though back to hugging Sasuke, the smell of him, the feel of him in his arms...

"I don't know. I just got some intel. Someone infiltrated the base while we were gone. Russians..." John trailed off. They all (If it's even possible.) met eyes, exclusing Ivan.

"Russians." Naruto repeated the word, scowling at the feeling of it on his lips. He slammed his fist into the cement wall. He welcomed the pain more than ignoring it. He turned towards them again.

"We need to go get him." Naruto said.

"We can't yet."

* * *

><p>So there it was, a few restless nights, tiresome days of shoveling dirt into sandbags, until, finally, Naruto said,<p>

"We need to get him. We really do."

"Well, we-" John shut up. He was obviously getting some more intel. "New mission. We need to rescue Sasuke. Look at that, Naruto, lucky you." John said.

"Well, let's get to it." Naruto said.

"...fine." Ivan said, crossing his arms over his chest, huffing out a breath. So they left.

* * *

><p>They arrived at the base. To say that Naruto felt intimidated by all of the tough looking me was an understatement; he wouldn't admit to it, but he probably almost shit his pants as he looked around, examining the Russians. They were big, they were buff... they were being friendly to Ivan, they were-<p>

Wait. Being friendly to Ivan?

Naruto stared at Ivan and one of the men in wonder as Ivan struck up a conversation.

"So. We're new. They don't know Russian." Ivan said to a man in Russian, pointing at the men with him.

"Oh, cool." The man replied in Russian.

"So, what's the intel up here?" Ivan looked around at everything, noticing the bunnies running around. "...and what's with the rabbits?"

"We have a lot of rabbits here. But Red likes them. Yeah, Red likes 'em. We give some to 'im every once in while. He likes 'im."

"Red?" Ivan asked. "Whose Red?"

"Red? You haven't heard? Well, he's beautiful. He-"

"Does he have black hair?" Ivan asked. The Russian looked at Ivan, a different look in his eye now. Ivan didn't know what it was, but he wasn't sure that he liked it.

"Yes."

"Shaped like a duck's ass?" Ivan asked. The Russian narrowed his eyes at Ivan, obviously suspicious of the blond now.

"How do you know?" The Russian guy asked.

"Oh, I heard rumors." Ivan said, shrugging, as if it weren't a big deal.

"Mm-hm. Sure." The Russian replied, leaning back in the chair he was sitting in, glaring at Ivan suspiciously; he was clocking him. Naruto gulped. He didn't know what they were talking about, but he didn't like how that guy was looking at Ivan.

"Well? What did he say?" Naruto asked. The Russian's glare moved from Ivan to Naruto in the blink of an eye.

"Oh. He's new. He's one of those Japanese families in Russia. Felt the need to justify himself. Right, Naruto?" Ivan asked in Russian, looking over at Naruto. He gave him a look that said nod-your-head-or-you-die. Naruto nodded. The Russian relaxed his voice, but he was obviously still tense. He was onto them.

"Sure." He replied. He watched them as they wallked off. He sighed. None of his buisness, anyway. He honestly didn't care, unless a reward came up for them.

Then he would spring into action.

* * *

><p>Ivan found the location of 'Red' by asking around. The men soon found themselves in front of a big bolted door. Ivan tried to open it.<p>

Locked.

"We'll need a key for this kind of door." John said. Ivan turned to him.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Ivan replied.

"You're welcome, Sergeant Sarcasm." Ivan glared at John.

Ivan looked to his right, where a Russian with key was walking up to them. He stopped in his tracks and asked, "What you doin' near Red? Bud off, you pricks."

Ivan glared at the man. He walked up to him and said, "I need to see Red."

"Why?" The man asked, speaking in Russian.

"Well, it's important. Top secret." Ivan replied.

"Not buyin' non'a that shit." The man said, crossing his arms.

Ivan replied, though it was said in German. The man's eyes bulged out of his head.

"A GERMAN? Yes, sir. Right away, sir..." The Russian quickly handed Ivan the keys and ran off. Naruto looked at Ivan.

"You know German?" He asked.

"Yeah." Ivan replied with a shrug.

"Hm. Shouldn't surprise me." Naruto replied.

Ivan unlocked the door, revealing Sasuke. He was in a red outfit, looked like a slutty version of Red Riding Hood. He was currently holding a rabbit in his hands, looking at the men in front of the door.

"Is the coast clear?" Sasuke asked in Russian. Naruto looked at him and groaned.

No, not him, too.

"Yes." Ivan replied, speaking Japanese again. "But we've got to get out of here."

"Okay." Sasuke replied, setting the rabbit down, instinctively walking over to Naruto, wrapping his arms around the older man's waist. Naruto placed his hand on Sasuke's back. Sasuke looked up at Naruto's face, smiling.

Ivan looked over his shoulder. "We have to leave. Now."

Sensing the urgency in Ivan's voice, they all broke out into a run, getting out of the base. The men at their feet, almost right on their heels. Naruto made sure that Sasuke was safe, and he was. He was, all the way until they reached the base, the bomb shelter.

"Oh my god. That was... exhilerating." Sasuke breathed out. Naruto looked at him, smiling.

"Yeah..." He breathed out in reply.

* * *

><p>Everyone broke out into conversation, excluding Naruto and Sasuke, who were in one of the corners.<p>

"So, they boyfriends?" John asked Ivan.

"What, them? Oh, no. But they will be. Soon enough." Ivan replied. "Naruto, stop making out with Sasuke, or you will find yourself under a tree." Ivan barked at him. not looking over at the scene.

"Wa-wha? Oh... uh... okay." Naruto said, getting off of Sasuke. They walked over to join the group. Sasuke had changed into another outfit, this time he was wearing a fatigue that was too large for him. Sasuke was smiling, as was Naruto.

"Well, aren't you two just all peaches-and-cream pie?" John asked them.

"Sure." Sasuke replied. Naruto laughed.

"What?" John asked.

"Choice of words. It's nothing. You just sound so American."

"I am American."

"That's a given." Naruto replied.

"Hold up- new intel." Everyone was quiet, waiting for John to recieve all of the intel. John's eyes grew wider by the second. Then everything went silent. John let out a breath.

"We have to hold off the base. It's an invasion." John said, "Capturing our fucking base."

"What country?" Naruto asked.

John gulped.

"All of them."

They all looked at John in disbelief.

"Say what?" Moon asked.

"Say me." Buggy replied. Everyone looked at him. "What? Just brightening the mood with some stupidity, but you guys obviously don't appreciate it." Buggy stuck out his bottom lip. They sighed.

"I say we see how long John can live out there." Ivan said. He opened the large door, thowing John out into the open. John lived for a long time. Naruto whistled.

"He's good." Naruto said.

"Yeah." Sasuke said.

"Let's see how long they can last." Ivan threw out Max and Mia. Mia was shot and killed. Max ran around like crazy. Ivan sighed.

"What? Not as entertaining as you were hoping for?" Naruto asked.

"I know how to get rid of them!" Ivan exclaimed. He got John and Max back in, then shover Izak out there.

"Izak, do your best." Max said as they closed the large door, leaving Izak out in the open. They were all silent, straining to hear anything.

Then they heard screaming, cries of mercy, begging. Sasuke gasped. Naruto covered Sasuke's ears with his hands.

"What's going on?" John asked.

"Izak's working his magic, that's what." Naruto said.

"Atomic farts. They come in handy from time to time." Ivan said with a shrug. It was just a normal thing at No Name High, after all.

But some of the people in the room weren't from No Name.

"What?" Dusk asked.

"Oh, just leave it alone, Dusk." Moon said.

"Think it's safe now?" Max asked.

Ivan paused for a bit, appearing to be thinking. Then his eyes lit up slightly and he replied. "Yep."

They opened the door, dead people lying everywhere. One was still alive, clawing at his eyes, trying to erase the stench. Ivan shot him right between the eyes.

"That takes care of that." Ivan said.

Sasuke staired at the carnage, open mouthed. John looked at him.

"What? You're with the Military. Come on, what did you expect, a circus?" John asked.

"I just..." Sasuke breathed out. Naruto covered Sasuke's eyes, whispering soothing nothings into his ears. Naruto was looking at all of the carnage, wide eyed. Ivan was walking around, looking around, when he stopped, stairing at something. Naruto noticed Ivan's lack of motion.

"What's up?" Naruto asked.

"We're in trouble." Ivan said.

"Why?" Moon asked.

They all looked where Ivan was looking. Moon gasped, John gaped, Buggy gawked, Sasuke didn't see it, Dusk staired, and Naruto groaned.

"You're kidding me, right?" He asked, watching as the dead man stood up, partly decomposed from the horrible stench of Izak's fart. Slowly, one by one, the dead men started to clumisly pull themselves to their feet.

"I hate the undead." Moon said. Sasuke tensed, Naruto could feel it, and everyone could see it.

"The what?" Sasuke asked in a squeaky voice.

"Shh, it's alright, Sasuke." Naruto whispered to him, though he was worried.

"So, who says we go back into the bomb shelter before they do?" John asked.

"I do." They all said in unison, besides Sasuke, who was frozen in horror. Naruto quickly and hastily lead Sasuke into the bomb shelter. They bolted the door shut and relaxed.

"Now they can't get in." Ivan said.

They were all silent, Sasuke's eyes uncovered now.

"Well..." Sasuke asked, looking around. "What now?"

"I don't know. What do people do in zombie apocolypses?" John asked.

"Yeah. I'm used to 'em U.S.S.R. and Nazis 'n stuff." Buggy said.

They all looked at him.

"The do-what now?" Sasuke asked.

"Doesn't matter how many centuries have passed since then, you should know who they are." Ivan said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Even stupid people should know them."

Ivan glanced over at Max and Izak, then sighed.

"I take back that last thing I said."

"Good." Naruto said. "I'm not sure I can take being stupid."

"You are." Ivan replied.

"Whatever." Naruto brushed it off.

"So... what now?" Sasuke repeated his earlier question, plopping down on the ground, sitting criss-cross.

"I dunno." Naruto answered, sitting beside Sasuke, one leg bent, the other lay flat in front of him. The blond looked over at Sasuke and smiled.

"Yeah. We're not in a good situiation; we have no food, no water, no restroom, and there's how many of us?" John asked.

"Let's see... there's me, Naruto, Bug-Guy-"

"Buggy." Buggy corrected him, but Sasuke ignored him.

"-Moon, Dusk, John, Ivan, Max, and Izak. That makes..." Sasuke looked at his fingers. "Nine."

"Wow, Sauke can count." Ivan remarked.

"Shut you face, Ivan." Naruto barked at him, defending Sasuke.

The silence around them enveloped them in its embrace, awkwardly comforting them in complete quiet. They all looked around at everyone, at their feet, at the ceiling. They all silently agreed on one thing; they were screwed. Well, everyone but Ivan. Ivan could do anything he wanted to.

"So... we're screwed." Sasuke said.

"Yeah." Naruto agreed.

"Indeed." John nodded.

"Definately." Dusk sighed.

"I'm not." Ivan stated.

They all swiveled the top halves of their bodies to face him.

"And what makes you think that? We're all in the same boat." John reminded Ivan.

"No. I could teleport out of here, anywhere I want. I could leave you guys to all the zombies and hunger and dehydrational hysterics." Ivan said.

"Oh. That's true..." Naruto muttered, looked down at the ground. He then looked at Sasuke; he didn't want Sasuke to be stuck there.

"But you wouldn't do that." Sasuke said.

They now all looked at Sasuke.

"What do you mean? Ivan's mean." Naruto said, making a face.

"I think he's too nice to do that. And besides, if he wanted to ditch us all, he either would have already, or he would have killed us all. If you think about it, he has a lot of power over us. But he hasn't used it yet... has he?" Sasuke asked. They all slowly looked over at Ivan.

"I'm not nice." Ivan said.

"You are, somewhat. Not _very _nice, but nice enough. Not nice in a regular person's sense. Well..." Sasuke rambled on, being stopped by Naruto.

"You already called him nice, you can't cover it now, Sasuke."

"Oh, I know. I guess it's kind of like a goose chase, right?" Sasuke asked Naruto.

"So that's where your hair came from?" Ivan asked. Sasuke glared at him.

"Shut up, Ivan." Ivan glared, hard and cold at Sasuke.

"Don't tell me to shut up." Ivan said quietly, strikingly. His eyes narrowed at Sasuke.

"...well..." Naruto said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I was just going to disagree with you, Sasuke. It's not like a goose chase. You're not chasing after anything."

"Well, I'm chasing after the power to convice Ivan that I didn't call him nice." Sauske replied.

* * *

><p>And that's kind of how it went for a while; broken conversations between humans who were slowly but surely unwinding. They hadn't aknowledged it yet, but if they would think about it, they might as well be the last humans on earth. They had no communication to the people in the outside world, so there was no knowing for them if there even <em>were<em> any more humans anywhere on the Earth. It was as if humans had finally met their match; zombies. Undead humans seemed to be the final challenge for the humans, and they had failed.

"I can't take this." Sasuke said, throwing his arms up in the air.

It had been a while since the zombies came, probably since the whole human race had been wiped off of the face of the earth.

"Well, let's get out of here!" Moon exclaimed, jumping up excitedly.

"Um... we can't." Naruto said.

"Well, did you notice that those zombies couldn't see?" Ivan asked.

"...how did you notice something like that?" Naruto asked.

"Well, they can't see, feel, or smell." Ivan said.

They all looked at eachother, excluding Ivan. Sasuke seemed to get what Ivan had been getting at. Whiping his head to look at Ivan, he said;

"Hell no."

"What?" Ivan asked.

"No. I'm not going out there with zombies!" Sasuke squealed.

"Yes, you are." John said, "If that's what it takes to get out of here."

"No. No way... they'd kill us!" Sasuke squealed again.

"Well, we could always knock him out..." Ivan trailed off.

Sasuke fell on the floor, unconcious.

"IVAN! What the hell was that for? Was that even nessasary?" Naruto yelled.

"Yes. Now, pick him up. You're hauling him around, because I'm sure as hell _not_ carrying him." Ivan said.

"...fine..." Naruto mumbled under his breath. Naruto lifted Sasuke, holding him bridal style, as Ivan opened the door.

"Here goes." John said. They all (Excluding Ivan) put their fingers up to their mouths, signalling John to shut up. He shut his mouth immediately.

* * *

><p>They left the bomb shelter, Ivan sending Izak off to eat some zombies. He did as he was told, the zombies coming up to him instead. The rest of the group walked off in the opposite direction. They wandered around until they came up to the No Name Hotel. They walked in, hurredly shuffling into a room. They shut the door; the zombies couldn't open doors, so there were none in there. Naruto set Sasuke down on the ground softly, stroking some hair out of the raven's eyes. Naruto sighed.<p>

"Nice place." John stated, looking around the room.

"Luckily, for us, it's soundproof." Ivan said.

"Convenient." Naruto said.

"Uh... where are we?" Sasuke asked groggily. Naruto looked at him.

"Sasuke! You're up!" Naruto exclaimed happily.

"Yeah... where are we?" Sasuke asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. NAruto couldn't help thinking about how cute Sasuke was when he was waking up.

"At the hotel." Ivan said. Sasuke looked around, then his eyes landed on a television.

"TV?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah." John answered.

"Turn it on!" Moon exclaimed.

"Hehe, turn it on." Dusk chuckled.

"Don't be so vulgar." Sasuke scolded Dusk.

"He didn' do nothin' wrong." buggy told Sasuke. Sasuke glared at him. "I take it back."

"Good." Sasuke said, still glaring. "So, turn it on. I wonder what's happening with the rest of the world."

"You really want to be certain whether or not we're the last hope for humanity?" Naruto asked.

"Well, if we are, we're screwed. We're all guys." John pointed out.

"Why would that be bad?" Sasuke asked.

They all looked at Sasuke.

"Oh, just turn the damned television on." Sasuke barked the order. John turned the television on. It showed the news, a nice lady came on the screen.

"There is a mass of people currently residing on this bridge right here," The reporter said, pointing to somewhere on a map. The map zoomed in, showing the bridge and the mass of people. "The police and the military are holding off the bridge, helping the people on it survive. The zombie outbreak is due to a government expirementation-"

"So that's what this is all about..." Naruto muttered.

"Shh!" Sasuke said.

"Sorry..." Naruto apologized, scooting up closer to Sasuke.

"-and we ask that you keep all electronics off. The scientists in the government labrotories need all of the electricity they can get. Stay tuned."

The news went off, and John turned the telly off. They all stared at the blank screen for a while, until Sasuke burst out laughing. They all looked at him, startled. To some, his character had really changed since this all started, since not everyone knew him at No Name, not everyone knew about Sasuke before the military.

"What's so funny?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"She... she-she... she just said to keep... all electronic-electronics off... but she sai-said stay t-t-tuned!" Sasuke said between gasps for air and violent laughing fits. Naruto patted Sasuke's back.

"It wasn't that funny." Naruto told Sasuke. But soon, John began laughing. Not hysterically, like Sasuke currently was, but just laughing. The Buggy joined in, following the example his role model set. Moon began to laugh, then Dusk joined in. Finally, almost reluctantly, Naruto started laughing.

Ivan stood in a corner, arms crossed over his chest. They all stopped laughing. Saskue began to cry.

"What are we going to do? We're going to be the last ones left, there's not going to be anyone, and we're all going to die. What happens when people die? Does heaven really exist? Do we go somewhere else? Am I going to go to Hell? Do we just live to die? Is there really no point? No one to remember anything we did? Why do we do it all? It's all STUPID!" Sasuke yelled the last word, bawling now. Naruto pat his back.

"Wow, he's annoying." Ivan said. "Who's up for knocking him out and pretending that this whole thing never happened?" Ivan asked.

"Why would we do that?" John asked.

"Well, honestly, Sasuke wouldn't be like that." Ivan said. John looked at Sasuke for a few seconds, then looked at Ivan and shrugged.

"Sure, I'm in."

"I'm in too!" Buggy said.

"In what?" Naruto asked. Sasuke gasped, falling forward, unconsious once again. Naruto glared at Ivan.

"What?" Ivan asked.

"Stop doing that!" Naruto yelled at him.

"Doing what?" Ivan asked.

"Knocking Sasuke out!" Naruto exclaimed.

"You have no proof I did it." Ivan said.

"It's obvious, Ivan." Naruto replied. Ivan was quiet for a couple of seconds, then replied.

"Yeah. I guess it is." Ivan looked at the raven, unconsious on the ground. Ivan sighed.

"Okay, guys, we have to pretend that the zombies never happened. None of it happened. Okay?" Ivan asked

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"It'll calm your 'precious boyfriend' down." Ivan said, using air quote gestures.

"Oh." Naruto said.

Soon enough, Sasuke woke up. He looked around at everyone, at everything. Then he asked;

"Where are we?"

"At the hotel." Ivan answered.

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Because. It's a school field trip." Ivan shrugged.

"Then... uh... where's everyone else?" Sasuke asked.

"In another room. We have to stay in this room." Ivan said.

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Because they told us to." Ivan replied.

"I thought we were here because of zombies." Sasuke said.

"Zombies? What zombies? No zombies here, haha." Naruto laughed nervously. Ivan glared at him; he obviously wanted to do all of the talking here. Naruto nodded to Ivan when Sasuke couldn't see.

"Yes, there were." Saskue objected.

"No there weren't." Ivan replied.

"And..." Sasuke looked at the television.

"The telly. The woman had said to not use any electronics, but she said to stay tuned, and we all started laughing." Sasuke stated.

"Who said I was laughing?" Ivan barked at Sasuke quickly, not thinking. Ivan looked surprised for a second, then quickly masked it. Shoot.

"See! We _are_ in a zombie apocolypse! I _told_ you! I'm _not_ crazy!" Sasuke exclaimed. Suddenly, he slammed into the wall, knocking out cold.

"Ivan! Stop that! Seriously, you're going to end up giving brain damage to him!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Won't be doing much." Ivan said.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Think, Naruto. What is required of every student in order to enroll into No Name High?" Ivan asked.

"Uh... Being stupid, supernatural, or brain damage. Everyone knows that." Naruto said.

"Well, is Sasuke stupid?" Ivan asked.

"No." Naruto said.

"Is he supernatural?" Ivan asked.

"Uh... no. What are you getting at? You're not... saying that..." Naruto trailed off, his eyes growing wider.

"He has brain damage." Ivan said. They all looked at each other.

"But.. he..." Naruto began to object.

"You're breaking the news to him when he wakes up." Ivan told Naruto.

"Why me?" Naruto asked.

"Becuase." Ivan said, shrugging, as if it were blantly obvious. Naruto looked at Sasuke. He walked up to him. Sasuke's eyes fluttered open.

"Uh... Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"Hey... Sasuke. We... uh..." Naruto trailed off. He looked at the rest of the group, who nodded toward him, encouraging him to break the news to Sasuke. He sighed.

"Uhm... Sasuke... you have... youhavebraindamage." Naruto shot out. He looked at Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes widened significantly.

"No... no I don't." Sasuke muttered.

"Uh... you uh... you do." Naruto said. He felt bad about telling Sasuke, but he had to. He was afraid of what Ivan would do to him if he didn't tell the younger boy. Or worse...

...what raccoon would do.

Naruto shuddered at the thought, almost missing what Sasuke said.

"It never ha-happened..." Sasuke said, eyes still wide. He hugged himself, pulling on his shirt (He was somehow magically in his regular outfit. So were everyone else excluding Buggy and John.), forming a tight ball.

"What?" Naruto asked, confused. The other people in the room looked over at Sasuke.

"He didn't. It didn't. It wasn't. I-I... I'm normal." Sasuke whispered the last part.

"Sasuke, think; people are only accepted into No Name High if they have one of the three requirements. You have brain damage." Ivan said. "No big deal."

"NO I DON'T!" Sasuke screamed, clutching the hair on his head. His shoulders started shaking from sobbing, and soon he was shuddering violently from the strength of his bawling.

"What... happened?" Naruto asked. He was scared, and sad. He felt as if his heart had just been ripped out and thrown in some salt... except he could feel the salt. Naruto had tears threatening to come out, burning at the back of his eyes. He wanted it to stop.

"He raped me... he ran me over... he... he didn't like me." Sasuke said, still bawling. Everyone was silent, any murmering had ceased.

"...raped?" Naruto whispered. The tears slipped past his defenses, one crystal making its way down Naruto's cheek to his chin, hitting the floor, never to be remembered. (And that's the tragic life of a tear.)

"Who?" Ivan asked. He really didn't care about Sasuke, more about the curiosity rising inside of him.

"He did... he did... my..." Sasuke cried out.

"You're what?" Ivan asked, a vain appearing on his head. He wasn't exactly the world's most patient person.

"Father." Sasuke said. his body seemed to tense with the one word spoken, his crying ceasing for a second, where everything was seriously silent, until he started again, louder than before, if that was even possible.

"Oh my..." Naruto trailed off. He was crying now, but he homestly didn't care. He just wanted to make Sasuke feel better, but he didn't know exactly how to come about that task, so he just stood there, watching in horror as Sasuke bawled his eyes out.

Naruto walked up to Sasuke, wrapping his arms around the crying boy. Sasuke didn't rsist; in fact, he embraced the older boy. Naruto whispered soothing words into Sasuke's ears, trying to get him to calm down. The rest of the people in the room just watched the scene. Not much else you could do in a sound-proof hotel room while outside the walls the whole human race was dying off from the zombie apocolypse.

Yeah, it wasn't a good day to be alive.

Sasuke finally calmed down, cuddling up to Naruto. Everyone was quiet for a while.

"I'm sorry..." Sasuke apologized.

"Don't be, Sauske. It's not your fault, Sasuke, it isn't. You're fine, Sasuke, no reason to apologize..." Naruto whispered to him. Sasuke cuddled closer to Naruto.

"I'm really sorry... I seem to only cause trouble to you guys..." Sasuke said quietly. Ivan gave a kind of snort in amusement.

"You could say that again." Ivan said. Naruto glared at Sasuke and mouthed to Ivan 'You're not helping'.

"Don't worry, Sasuke, I'll put up with the trouble. It's better than loosing you, Sasuke, it really is..." Naruto whispered to him.

* * *

><p>Another day passed, the Earth still turning as it usually did, carrying on in it's inanimate life while on its surface everything was going to hell. People being eaten alive by the zombies, zombies eating other zombies, people on bridges, fending for their lives, and a group of high school children and some people they picked up on the way, trying to live in a soundproof hotel room.<p>

"...what's your fettish?" John asked.

"...what?" Sasuke asked him. He wasn't sure if he had heard the veteran clearly.

"What's all of your fettishes?" John reworded his previous question.

"...I don't have any." Naruto said.

"Your fettish is Sasuke, Naruto." Ivan informed him.

"I'm not sure that's a... valid fettish..." Sasuke said, blushing.

"What's yours, Dusk?" Naruto asked.

"I don't have any." Dusk said.

"Girls on girls counts." Sasuke said matter-of-factly.

"I don't have any, either." Moon said.

"Aw, I think you're too young to have any." Sasuke told Moon.

"I don't have any." Ivan said.

"What, you don't have fettishes for scarves?" Sasuke asked, eyeing Ivan's purple scarf.

"No." Ivan said, glaring at Sasuke. Sasuke laughed.

"Just kidding, Ivan. Take a joke once in a while."

"My fettish is torture."

...

The whole room (Includng the walls) looked at Buggy. Buggy met all of their gazes (At ONCE! Yes, he has that many eyes, Lmao~).

"What?" He asked.

"What would you do with someone who's fettish is torture?" Ivan asked.

"You put them in the military." John said.

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"So when the enemies caprture him and try to get information from him, the torture they give him doesn't make him tell them, it turns him on." John said.

"...Oh. I guess that makes sense..." Naruto said, quirking one eyebrow.

"Yeah." Sasuke agreed, nodding vigerously. Naruto smiled.

"So, what's _your_ fettish, Sasuke?" Naruto asked. Sasuke blushed, suddenly finding interest in the floor.

"Uh... I don't... have any..." Sasuke said quietly.

"Bull shit." John said. "Out with it."

"Yeah, what's your fettish?" Buggy asked.

"Is it toe jam?' Dusk asked. Sasuke made a face at him.

"What? Ew, no."

"Is it getting crabs from crab apples?" Ivan asked.

"No!" Sasuke said, trying to not laugh.

"How about you toes turning into ice?" Naruto asked.

"No!" Sasuke said again.

"How about a chicken laying a golden egg and replacing your eye with it?" Moon asked.

They all looked at Moon.

"What? I thought it was interesting..." Moon said innocently, looking down at the floor.

"What about a guy that makes the saying 'he's as red as a beet' true? As in, his head is a beet." Ivan asked.

"No!" Sasuke said, laughing now. The stuff these guys came up with!

"How about Obama eating a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich, flying to the moon, and having a threesome with George W. Bush and an alien?"

They all fell silent, turning to Dusk at the same time.

"What? It could happen..."

"So, what _is_ your fettish, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke.

"I like drehhinguhahaurhl." Sasuke muttered.

"What?" Ivan asked.

"I like... I like dressingupasagirl." Sasuke said quickly.

"What? I'm not sure I heard you right..." Naruto said, mimicking cleaning his ear out with his pinky.

"I LIKE DRESSING UP AS A GIRL! There, I said it." Sasuke said, his face turning red.

"Oh." Naruto said, grinning mischeviously. "Nice fettish."

"Shut up." Sasuke said.

* * *

><p>Later, Sasuke was taking a nap, while the others were talking.<p>

"Naruto, eat this crab apple." Naruto examined the crab apple in Ivan's hand.

"...no." Naruto said.

"Yes." Ivan said, using telekenisis to shove the crab apple in Naruto's mouth.

"Oh hiss iss gwosh..." Naruto said around the crab apple, swallowing. He stood there for a few seconds, then ran into the restroom.

"What's wrong with him?" John asked.

"He got crabs from a crab apple." Ivan said, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's obvious."

"Oh..." John said. He thought they were just making up the fettishes earlier...

Naruto came out, a crab holding onto his nose.

"GET IT OFF ME!" Naruto yelled, flailing his arms around.

"Wait... I thought he got crabs..." John said.

"Yeah. The animal." Ivan said, smirking in amusement. John shuddered; Ivan sure was sadistic.

* * *

><p>Later, Sauske was up, standing by the window. Ivan was looking down at the ground from the window.<p>

"Look." He said, pointing. Sasuke looked down.

On the ground outside, a fat zombie started bubling up, then exploded, some of it's guts hitting the window in the process. Sasuke jumped back a little, a disgusted look on his face. Other zombies crowded around it, eating its insides.

"They're eating each other." Ivan said.

"What is that besides gross?" Sasuke asked Ivan.

"Bad news." Ivan said.

"Why?" Sasuke asked the younger male.

"Well, that means they have more food than just humans."

"Which means...?"

"They're going to last longer."

Sasuke gulped. He didn't like the sound of that.

* * *

><p>The next day, they were all sitting down. Ivan asked something out of the blue.<p>

"What did you guys want to do with your life?" Ivan asked.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"What did you want to do with your life? Before the apocolypse, I mean."

Sasuke looked at Ivan strangely.

"What?" Ivan asked.

"Nothing..." Sasuke said.

"I always wanted my children to grow up happily. But now that I know that they're either hiding, being eaten, or have already made a zombie's day, I know I've failed." John said.

"Aw... I'm sorry, John." Sasuke was being sincere, and John knew that. He smiled.

"It's a zombie apocolypse. What can you do?" John asked.

"Shoot them." Buggy said. They all looked at Buggy. "What?"

"Rhetorical question, Buggy. Rhetorical question." John said, shaking his head.

"I always wanted to be with Sasuke..." Naruto said. Sasuke looked at him.

"Really?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes." Naruto said.

"Aw, you're so sweet." Sasuke said, pecking Naruto on the lips.

"And Sasuke, what about you?" Ivan asked.

"...I just wanted to get married, have children..." Sasuke said sheepishly. "I know it's stupid and generic, but honestly, it sounds nice..."

"Well, we could try to find one of those guys that does marriages to get you guys married." Ivan said (Though this never happens. It is forgotten about shortly after, like many other things.).

"Really?" Sasuke asked, bouncing up, his eyes shining.

"I think that's too nice of a thing to do for you, Ivan." Naruto said.

"Whatever." Ivan said.

"What about you, Buggy?" Sasuke asked.

"I always wanted to be a war hero. But I never was." Buggy frowned.

"You were close, though." Sasuke said.

"Almost there." Naruto said.

"Almost isn't enough in the real world." Buggy said.

"Don't let it get you down." Sasuke said, placing a reassuring hand on Buggy's arm. Buggy looked at Sasuke and smiled.

"Yeah..."

They continued talking, until someone said something that set Sasuke off the edge.

"What is the point of living?" Sasuke asked. Naruto looked at Sasuke incrediously.

"Uh... hope." Naruto said. "Love."

"There is no point in living." Ivan said.

"Yes there is, Ivan." Naruto said.

"I don't think there is." Sasuke said. Naruto knew where this conversation was heading, ever since it started.

"No, Sasuke, no." Naruto said.

"Well, we're just dots in the time of the world. When we're gone, no one will really care." Ivan said, "It won't make much of a difference. All we do is live, reproduce, and die. And then there's nothing. Nothing to remember you by." Naruto glared at Ivan. He really wasn't helping.

"Then living is stupid." Sasuke said, a distant look in his eye.

"No, Sasuke, no. No, no, no, no." Naruto pleaded. "Please, no."

"Hope isn't a reason to live. And neither is love. Naruto, I don't love _or_ hope, and yet I'm still here." Ivan said.

"Why are you here?" Naruto asked.

"To see what entertainment you guys give me." Ivan said.

"You're here, hoping we'll give you entertainment. It's hope, in a way." Naruto said. "Hope that, maybe, tomorrow will be better. Or maybe a year from now. Or maybe two years, just hope that it gets better. And it does, Sasuke, it does. It get's better..."

"Life is just a game, Sasuke. You either win, or lose." Ivan said.

Sasuke stood up and walked over to the door.

"Then I want to lose."

"No, Sasuke, no. No. Sasuke, you can't so this to me." Naruto said, almost crying. "Sasuke, I can't live without you. Sasuke, please. I can't... I just... Sasuke..."

"I'm coming with you." Moon said, stadning next to Sasuke.

"I want to be happy. And I can't be here." Sasuke said.

"I'll make you happy. I'll show you how happy you can be alive with me. I'll make you so happy... we could... we could get married! We could have children! Sasuke... I could make you so happy, but you just..." Naruto inhaled a shaky breath, "...you just have to stay with me."

"Naruto." Sasuke said sternly. Naruto looked at Sasuke, who's back was facing him.

"Please, no..." Naruto whispered.

"Seriously, Naruto, you're being selfish. He wants to be happy." Ivan said, crossing his arms over his chest. He closed his eyes for a second, then looked at Naruto.

"I..." Naruto said, he had never felt so helpless. So helpless...

"Fine. Do whatever. Sasuke, whatever it takes to make you happy." Naruto said, smiling. It was a forced smile, and you could tell; Naruto had tears trailing down his chin.

"I want you to be happy." Naruto whispered.

Sasuke walked out the door, Moon trailing along. Naruto couldn't help it, he broke down sobbing. Ivan looked at his, a scowl on his face.

"Seriously. Love does nothing for you, except making you weak." Ivan said.

"I just... there goes my reason to live." Naruto said.

"What?" Ivan asked.

"I tried to commit suicide, so many times... because I thought Sasuke hated me. I only live because I... I love him. And the hope that he'd love me back one day. I just... I..." Naruto began to sob again.

"You're weak." Ivan said.

"What am I going to do now? What am I going to do now..." Naruto whispered in between sobs.

* * *

><p>...<p>

...

...

...

* * *

><p>Ivan sighed. This was certainly annoying, and boring.<p>

Ivan walked out the door, seeing what gruesome fate had found Sasuke. He walked around the corner, and dead panned.

"You're serious?" Ivan asked.

Sasuke was curled up in the fetal position on the ground. He was murmering, but Ivan could hear what he was saying perfectly; 'I don't wanna die, I'm scared, I don't wanna die, I'm scared...'. Ivan sighed.

"You're pathetic. You can't even commit suicide." Ivan said. Sasuke looked up at Ivan.

"I-Ivan?" Sasuke asked, still whimpering.

"Do you want to go back?" Ivan asked. Sasuke nodded in response, standing up to make his way back to the room. They returned, and Naruto's face lit up brighter than the sun.

"Sasuke!" He exclaimed. The blond jumped up and hugged Sasuke tightly. Sasuke hugged him back.

"He only made it 'round the corner. He couldn't even commit suicide." Ivan said, shaking his head. "How pathetic."

"God... Sasuke... don't ever do that to me again." Naruto said into Sasuke's hair.

"I promise." Sasuke said.

* * *

><p>A couple of days had passed. Ivan all of the sudden said something that startled everyone.<p>

"Let's see how long John can survive with the zombies."

Sasuke looked at Ivan as if he had just grown three heads.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Let's throw him out to the zombies." Ivan said.

"NO!" Sasuke yelled. "You can't! We need everyone that's here, we can't get rid of him!"

"You're selfish. Just want as many people around you as you can get." Ivan said. Sasuke opened his mouth and closed it a few times.

John flew through the open window, landing on the ground below, surprizingly still alive.

"Hm." Ivan said. "How long do you think he'll last?" Ivan asked the rest of the group.

"I dunno." Naruto shrugged.

"How could you DO that? He's a **human BEING**! You can't just do that to another human!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Sasuke, we're in a zombie apocolypse. You're going to have to learn to set aside your human feelings in order to live." Ivan said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But... but..." Sasuke said.

"Ivan's right, Sasuke." Naruto said. Sasuke looked at Naruto, tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

"But..." Sasuke said. He sounded too vulnerable, just saying that one word, Naruto winced.

"I know, Sasuke. It's hard. But right now, we have to survive." Naruto said.

John came in through the door. "Ah. There. I'm alive." John said.

"Thank God..." Sasuke breathed out.

"Uh... John... the door..." Naruto pointed at the door.

But it was too late. A zombie made its way into the room, sensing the sound. It found John quickly and efficiently, it bit his arm. John yelped out in pain. Sasuke screamed, Naruto instinctively stepping in between Sasuke and the zombie. Buggy watched in horror, Moon hid behind Dusk. Dusk just watched, while Max didn't even notice a thing going on.

"See that? It's a zombie. They could come in at any time." Ivan said.

"Get it out! Get it out!" Sasuke screamed. Naruto glared at Ivan.

"Get it out." He growled at Ivan.

"And why should I?" Ivan asked.

"It's scaring Sasuke." Naruto replied.

"I honestly don't care." Ivan said.

"It might kill us." Naruto tried to reason with Ivan.

"I don't care what happens to you all." Ivan said.

"But..." Naruto said. Naruto started to panic. Was this really it? Was this the end?

The zombie went out the door, the door closing shut. Naruto let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Sasuke was sobbing, clutching onto Naruto. Naruto looked at Sasuke, pained to see him so scared.

"Ow..." John said. All attention was turned onto him.

"J-John?" Sasuke asked shakily.

"John?" Buggy asked.

"I just... ugh..." John said.

"We're going to have to get rid of him." Ivan said.

"NO!" Sasuke exclaimed. Ivan looked at Sasuke.

"And why not?" Ivan asked.

"He's a human!" Sasuke said, "You seriously can't be that heartless!"

"As I said before, we're in a zombie apocolypse, Sasuke. You have to set your human feeling behind." Ivan reminded Sasuke.

"And besides, I'm sure Ivan doesn't have any human feelings." Naruto said, earning a glare from the younger blond.

"He's a HUMAN! A HUMAN! Does the word HUMAN mean NOTHING to you?" Sasuke screamed at Ivan.

"It does, but he won't be for long." Ivan said.

"Wh-what?" Sasuke asked.

"He got bit by a zombie. That's how people turn into zombies." Naruto said.

"Exactly. And we don't need another zombie out there, much less in here." Ivan said.

"But... But... you can't..." Sasuke said.

"Oh well." Ivan said.

Not all of them were entirely sure how it happened, but John's head exploded. It just... exploded. Spontaneously combusted. The blood and brain got on everyone, excluding Ivan, but it _did_ slip down the force field sickeningly slow. Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs. Naruto covered Sasuke's eyes, trying to calm him down. Naruto looked at John, then at Ivan.

He killed him... Naruto thought. And, much to Naruto's horror, another thought crossed his mind.

He could do that to anyone of us.

* * *

><p>It was another couple days later.<p>

John's carcass had been shoved into the closet. Dusk had joked, 'I don't think he's coming out of the closet anytime soon'. All he got in a response were glares, some sighs, and a choked sob. Ivan tried to adress a problem.

"We're running out of food." Ivan said. They looked at him. Sasuke gave him a weird face. Then Sasuke remembered; Oh, yeah, you have to eat.

"I'll go run out and get some supplies." Naruto said.

"No." Sasuke demanded. Naruto looked at Sasuke.

"Um... what?" Naruto asked.

"I said no. You're not leaving." Sasuke said.

"And... what not?" Naruto asked.

"Because you just... you can't! Naruto, it's a ZOM-BIE A-PO-CO-LY-PSE. I don't want you to get hurt!" Sasuke said, clutching onto Naruto's sleeve.

"Sasuke, we need food. And supplies. And survivours." Naruto said.

"But you can't! You can't leave me again!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Sasuke-"

"Please...?" Sasuke asked quietly, tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Naruto looked at Sasuke's face and sighed.

"I have to, Sasuke. I want you to be able to eat, I want you to be able to be safe, Sauske." Naruto tried convincing Sasuke.

"But... I don't feel safe without you..." Sasuke said.

"Besides, Sasuke, don't you like more people around you? If he finds more survivours, we'll have more people. More people who could survive with our help." Ivan said. He was being annoyed by Sasuke's whining.

"Yeah, Sasuke, seriously, we have to _save_ people. I don't want to live through this apocolypse thinking I haven't done a thing to help any of the other humans that are fending for their lives! Sasuke, seriously." Naruto said.

"Fine! Fine. Just... go." Sasuke said, slightly pushing Naruto away, walking to the other side of the room, shaking his head.

"Sasuke..." Naruto said.

"Just... fine. Do what you want." Sasuke said, looking back at Naruto, he added; "And please... be safe."

"...y-yeah." Naruto stuttered. He smiled at Sasuke. "You can slways count on me."

Sasuke smiled at him, and Naruto felt like he was falling in love all over again. He loved Sasuke's smile.

* * *

><p>They left, and, when they came back, they had some survivours with them, along with some supplies. They had two women with them.<p>

"Who are they?" Sasuke asked, eyeing them. One had a very large... chest. VERY large.

"Oh, I'm Nursie. I was the nurse over at Everyname High." The woman with the large bosom said.

Sasuke glared at the woman. Everyname? Sasuke hated Everyname. It was only natural for No Name students to hate Everyname people. They were... normal. Naruto walked over to Sasuke, placing a hand on his shoulder, causing the younger male to look at his boyfriend.

"Sasuke, we need a nurse with us. It's for the best." Naruto reassured Sasuke. Sasuke didn't look so certain, but he nodded anyway.

"Okay. Fine." Sasuke said.

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, who, in turn, smiled back.

"And whose the other one?" Sasuke asked.

"You don't need to know my name." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. She glared at Ivan.

"You're stupid." Ivan insulted the girl.

"Uhm... you guys know each other?" Sasuke asked.

"No." They both said in unison, still glaring at each other. Sasuke wasn't so sure they were telling the truth and, upon looking at Naruto's face, realized he wasn't the only one who thought so.

"So.. what's your name?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, Samuel." Ivan said. They looked at Ivan.

"Oh. So you _don't_ know her?" Sasuke asked. Ivan glared at Sasuke.

"Shut up." Ivan barked.

"Do you like her?" Sasuke asked. Ivan glared at Sasuke, cold and hard, the worst glare Sasuke had ever recieved in his life. But Sasuke remained unfazed by this.

"No." Ivan said harshly.

"Oh, well, you know, Naruto and I used to fight, but we like each other." Sasuke said, almost giggling.

"Sasuke, you might want to drop it. I don't want Ivan skinning you alive or something of the sort." Naruto said.

"Oh, fine. Ffowey." Sasuke said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You joined the club?" Naruto asked.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Nothing." Naruto replied. He was reffering to how Ivan, Samuel, and Sasuke were all crossing their arms over their chest.

"So, Sasuke..." Naruto said.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Hm... I dunno. What's up with you?" Naruto asked. Sasuke looked at Naruto suspiciously.

"What are you trying to do?" Sasuke asked.

"What? Me? Nothing." Naruto said, grinning at Sasuke.

"What do you want." Sasuke more of commanded than asked.

"I want you." Naruto said, straightforward. Sasuke looked at Naruto.

"Really?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah." Naruto said.

"Oh my god, guys, no." Ivan said.

"Why not?" Naruto whined in protest.

"Becuase, you guys aren't having sex when I can hear you." Ivan said, causing Sasuke to blush.

"But... this is the only sound proof room here." Naruto said. "And besides, can't we do it in the restroom?"

"The restroom isn't sound proof." Ivan said.

"Aw..." Naruto said. "Please?" Naruto asked, making puppy dog eyes. Naruto knew it wouldn't work, but he knew it would annoy the younger male.

"There's another soundproof room across the hall." Ivan said.

"Yay!" Naruto said.

"No. I'm not going out there with zombies..." Sasuke said.

"Come on, Sasuke." Naruto begged.

"But..." Sasuke took one look at Naruto's face and sighed. "...fine."

"YES!" Naruto picked Sasuke up and brought him out of the room.

* * *

><p>"You guys are boring." Ivan said, looking over at Max, who was skipping around, chasing a butterfly that wasn't there five seconds ago.<p>

"So, maybe we are." Samuel barked back.

"I wasn't talking to you." Ivan said, rolling eyes.

"Hey, look." Moon said, pointing out of the window.

Ivan walked beside him and peered down. A woman was making her way through the zombies, running. Ivan raised an eyebrow. They were suddenly down below. The woman ran into them. She had tom-boy cut white hair, bright purple eyes and pale skin. She looked at them as if they all had appeared out of no where, which they kind of had, so her reaction was respectable.

"Where the hell did you guys come from?" The woman asked.

"Up there." Ivan answered.

"Do you want to come back with us?" Moon asked the woman, who was currently looking up into the sky.

"Um..." She looked at them. "Is this all of you?" She asked.

"No. We have more." Dusk said.

"Who are you? I'm Shia."

"I'm Moon, and that's Dusk, that's Ivan, that's Nursie, and that's Samuel." Moon said.

"I see. And who else do you have with you?"

"Um... Naruto, Sasuke-"

"Sasuke? As in Sasuke Uchiha?"

"Yes. You know him?" Ivan asked.

"Yes. My gosh, I haven't seen him in years!" Shia exclaimed.

"Well, let's get back."

They appeared in the room. Shia looked around her.

"How did we get here?"

"Teleportation. How stupid are you?" Ivan answered.

"So, where's Sasuke?" Shia asked.

"Um... busy." Buggy answered.

"Who's that?" Shia asked.

"Buggy." Moon replied. Shia raised a brow, but kept quiet.

"Soo... how are you guys?" Shia asked.

"How else would we be?" Ivan asked.

"You didn't answer."

"Whatever."

Silence fell over all of them. Shia shifted around where she sat awkwardly. Who were these people, and how did they know Sasuke?

"We go to school with him." Shia jumped at the answer, whipping her head around to look at Ivan.

"How did you know what I was wondering?" Shia asked incrediously.

"Oh, you didn't say that out loud? Whoops." Ivan shrugged.

The door opened, revealing Naruto (With messed up hair) and an unconcious Sasuke in his arms. Naruto closed the door behind him and set Sasuke down.

"Why's he asleep?" Shia asked.

"I tired him out." Naruto said. Shia looked at Naruto. "I'm Naruto." Naruto held out a hand to her.

"Um... Shia." Shia shook Naruto's hand.

"How do you know Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"Well, we used to go to school together. Then he started acting strange, and he transfered schools. That's about all I know." Shia looked up at the blond. "I guess that's why he went to your school."

"Yeah." Naruto sat down.

Naruto and Shia chit chatted away as the rest of them did whatever it was that they were doing. Naruto looked at Sasuke.

"Um... he never sleeps this long." Naruto said worrily (Is that even a fucking word? Lololol)

"How old is he?" Nursie asked.

"Um... sixteen."

"And how old are _you?"_ Nursie asked.

"Twenty."

"Oh, you know there's a law against that for a _reason._ You probably hurt him." Nursie scolded Naruto.

"What? I would never hurt Sasuke... would I?" Naruto asked.

"You could've." Nursie answered. Sasuke stirred.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked. He shook him lightly. Sasuke groaned and opened his eyes, wincing as he sat up. He looked at Naruto.

"Naruto... I don't feel well." Sasuke said.

"He's pregnant."

Everyone in the room deadpanned.

* * *

><p><strong>An: **Stopping it there. Honestly, that took _way_ longer than it should've. I started this chapter, what, January? Feburary? And it's currently June.

Hope you enjoy it, because it's getting increasingly harder to remember the smaller details.

_**REVIEWS?**_

_~Sasuke Uzumaki 83_


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